Survivors Guilt

When I really think what I have had the chance to experience in my life regarding Cancer. I am very happy that I have had great opportunities to learn and grow. On the other hand I have had to say goodbye to several great people along the way. I have a very close friend who I adore. She is not someone I am with a lot in fact not at all! we lost track of each other for years. Until one day she and her husband showed up in our last ward in Lehi. We were in that ward for only 6 short months before we moved to our current house. Once I saw her I didn't want to move. Even though I hadn't seen her in several years it was so natural to continue our friendship. We have something in common and that is Cancer I met her through the Hero program which was a support group that I co-founded years ago. Just after we moved she called me and told me that she was diagnosed with Cancer. The outcome was not good. She and her husband were very optimistic. Since she has been doing very well. She has had a hard go at it, but has been holding up. She is terminal and the Cancer will never go away. It can me maintained. She just told me the other day it has grown and she is not going to do anymore Chemo for now. She wants to live her life and not be so sick. I can't tell you how many times I have had this conversation with people who I love. This is where the guilt falls into place. So many great people have died and I was so blessed. I have had great opportunities for life. I know all I can do is endure and learn from each and everyone of these great people. I love them all. Each day I am grateful for my cancer. If I had to do it all over again I would.