Happy Birthday Conner!

SO I am a day late again. I just wanted to have a chance to write about my sweet Conner who is now 6! I can't believe it. Time sure flies, I love Conner so much. He has grown so much in the last year. His ability to learn has grown leaps and bounds. His speech has improved amazingly. I have spent many days and nights worrying about Conner. Now not so much he has adjusted very well and I am very happy about that. He is a very loving kid. He loves his little brothers and takes very good care of them. He thinks of others all the time. He is very laid back I love that about him. He has a very sensitive heart. We love Conner so much and are so happy to have him as a son. Happy Birthday Conner!!

Survivors Guilt

When I really think what I have had the chance to experience in my life regarding Cancer. I am very happy that I have had great opportunities to learn and grow. On the other hand I have had to say goodbye to several great people along the way. I have a very close friend who I adore. She is not someone I am with a lot in fact not at all! we lost track of each other for years. Until one day she and her husband showed up in our last ward in Lehi. We were in that ward for only 6 short months before we moved to our current house. Once I saw her I didn't want to move. Even though I hadn't seen her in several years it was so natural to continue our friendship. We have something in common and that is Cancer I met her through the Hero program which was a support group that I co-founded years ago. Just after we moved she called me and told me that she was diagnosed with Cancer. The outcome was not good. She and her husband were very optimistic. Since she has been doing very well. She has had a hard go at it, but has been holding up. She is terminal and the Cancer will never go away. It can me maintained. She just told me the other day it has grown and she is not going to do anymore Chemo for now. She wants to live her life and not be so sick. I can't tell you how many times I have had this conversation with people who I love. This is where the guilt falls into place. So many great people have died and I was so blessed. I have had great opportunities for life. I know all I can do is endure and learn from each and everyone of these great people. I love them all. Each day I am grateful for my cancer. If I had to do it all over again I would.

Happy Birthday Jack!

I am a day late in wishing a Happy Birthday to my oldest son Jackson! Better late then never. I remember his birth just like it was yesterday. I remember the day we found out I was pregnant! He made me a mother which I am very grateful for. He has changed so much this last year. He is 7 going on 20. He can be sooo sweet and turn around and be sooooo angry! He is a great student and loves to learn. He is a great help to me. I appreciate who he is and who he will become. I love you Jack! Happy Birthday Big Guy!

New Way Of Life!!!

Most of you know Mike lost his job the beginning of February. This has been one of the most frustrating things I have ever had to endure. I felt very helpless and out of control. He has now found a job which is good. This job is something I have always wanted. A regular schedule a very stable company etc. I have to say it has turned my life upside down. Mike leaves for work at 7:30am does not return until 5:45pm. I like it and I don't. It keeps me very busy and motivated but I got very used to his very flexible schedule before. On the other hand I hated his last schedule. What I did like about it was he could help with the kids in the morning. Now I am flying solo. I no longer have the chance to help with the kids school which I hate. Next year I am going to try to start up a baby sitting co-op and see how that works so I can continue doing that. We are very blessed that he has found a job. Change is hard, the person I feel the most sorry for is our little baby Xander he got so much attention when Mike was home now not so much! All will be well and we look forward to the future.

My Little Baby

So I realize I have not said much about my sweet little baby Xander so now I will. We love having him with us he is a joy. I am having a very hard time realizing he is our last baby. I am trying to soak up all the baby time I have left with him! He has already changed so much. I can hardly believe it. He eats baby food now. He is not sleeping through the night. I wish he was, he gets up once or twice each night. He just eats then goes back to sleep. He loves all of his brothers they all take such good care of him. I already see a great bond between him and the boys. He started rolling over at 6 months. He has his two bottom teeth now. He is also sitting up. He has done this all in just a matter of a month. A lot has happened in his 6 month. He loves attention and acts nothing like what you would think a 5th child should. We love him and I don't know what I would do without him. We love you Xander!!

Playing Catch Up

So when I started this blog I was very excited. At first I was really good at keeping up with it. Now as you know not so much. We have had a baby since which has taken up a lot of my time. Xander is a good baby but is a lot like Jackson was as a baby. He likes to be held and does not like to sleep. So with that being said and considering that I have 4 other young boys life keeps me very busy.

So lets play catch up. We have been doing a lot with the recent holidays and school activities. Conner had his 100th day of kindergarten and we made a shirt with 100 items on it that was very fun for him. We had valentines day the kids had fun with that. We had a all red day and ended the day with delivering heart sugar cookies to some friends in the neighborhood. We also had a good st. Patty's day everything we ate that day was green we enjoyed that. Mikes parents came in February the kids really enjoyed spending time with them. We went to jumping jacks and the children's musem with them thanks grandma and grandpa. There grandpa also brought Jackson and Conner some coins that they put together with him they thought that was really cool.

We also had Easter and that was a lot of fun. We went to aunt Terry's house where aunt Dana and Terry made a great hunt for the kids they have enough candy to last the rest of the year. They really love that!!! Sorry I realize this is boring so I will stop now and just share some pics. I will try to keep up with the blog. If I do I won't have so much to catch up on and it won't be so boring.