Motherhood

Some days are so hard that I almost feel I should leave and never come back! I love my children very much. When the bad days come that is what I could do without. Max has been sick and all he wants is me to hold him and if I leave his site for a second he sobs. Of course as you know I have a 4 month old and all he wants is my attention. So what do I do because I also have a 3 year old that wants to do everything and none of that means by himself he wants me to be with him. Don't forget My 5 and 6 year old Jackson wants to talk about school and how much he loves it now. He has been talking about how much he doesn't can't wait for a break! Now he doesn't want a break I can't keep up. Then Conner tells me tonight "the kids in class no more then I do I can't do the things they do". Wow that was hard as you may or may not know Conner struggles a bit he is a lot like I was at his age he is a very smart boy but he holds back. Because of his speech delay he has also had a hard time picking some stuff up. He just got his report card and he has improved a lot since October. I am just really sad he all ready feels the pressure of other students at the age of 5. That broke my heart I love Conner and he is one of the sweetest little boys you will ever meet. As all Mothers I only want the best for my kids I am learning each day how to be a better Mother. I love the fact that I have 5 children. Days like these is when it is hard to have so many children. I am pulled in so many directions and I want to give them all the attention they deserve. Whether it is cuddling with a sick 18month old, playing with a 3 year old, just holding a brand new 4month old. Or helping encourage a 5 year old who is struggling. Also being there for a 6 year old who is so proud of himself for skipping 2 levels in reading and has all of a sudden decided he loves school again and wants to talk about for hours. Some how we manage as Mothers to be pushed in all of these directions. I just hope all of my children know the love I have for them. All of my time and energy is spent on them. I wouldn't have it any other way even when I have bad days like today.